Saturday, September 15, 2012

I put it between my legs. It tightened and then it loosened
- mimosa Shane

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Convention Shane


Ann Romney was pressed several times to weigh in on Eastwood’s strange speech, and she responded each time with a short statement and a pivot back to her husband.
“I didn’t know it was coming,” she said. “He’s a unique guy and he did a unique thing last night.”

Saturday, September 1, 2012

"Does anyone want to split the butt with me?"
- French restaurant Shane

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Liquid DDI Shane

"If I had three hands, I would actually mix it in my mouth."

Monday, July 9, 2012

You can tell, once you get it in your eye, if it's wrong-side-in, because it hurts like hell
- Contact Shane

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Speaking Shane

Your mouth needs to be loose and stretched out so it's not too tight when you open it.

Monday, July 2, 2012

Timer Shane

"I pushed but I can't get it to fit."
"It's not supposed to stay in all the way."

Nalgene Shane

Mine barely fits...the super big one, I can't fit in.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

USB Shane

How do I get it in?
I put it in the wrong way before...
You haven't noticed them? They're giant balls!
-Bridge Shane

Saturday, June 30, 2012

I'm glad you finished it before I did.
- TWSS Shane
Alright, I'm not doing any more because my hand hurts.
- bottle opener Shane

Friday, June 29, 2012

Some of what's left in there has been in your mouth four or five times
- More Batch Shane
The first time I sipped, I misjudged the size of the hole
- Batch Shane

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

You know you have to suck when you have your mouth on it...
But I was sucking so hard!
- Racing Shane
This white creamy goodness. What is it? I almost choked. -Molly's Shane

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

It's too wide! Have YOU ever seen a penis that big? -carafe Shane
You've gotta spin it. It's an art. You can't let it flop. If it's too heavy on one side, it flops. - soft serve Shane

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Okay, so now I know I need to suck in -omg Shane
It exploded in my mouth! -what it says on the box Shane
Finish fast, so we can go again! -chugging Shane

Friday, June 22, 2012

Pun Shane


“It was too fast, too hard at first.”
I like the black one better - it's longer. - printing Shane
You're going to have such a good system: the one blowing into your face, the other blowing out the other end. --fan Shane
Did you side to side both of them? Yeah, at the same time. I didn't want to front to front them! - hug Shane

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Shane of Monte Cristo

"...he bent beneath the hand of a woman, yet would have stiffened to breaking point beneath that of any man."

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Shane of los Angeles

That's a lot of fabric down there

Monday, April 30, 2012

Dominion Shane

"There are times when you can pull it out after some abusive torturing. This is extremely satisfying."

Saturday, April 28, 2012

It's too soft. There's something wrong with that tactilely. It's...too nice. - phone Shane

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Don't worry. It's supposed to look like that - foam Shane

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

My whole body is terrified but I'm excited to spend time with you again - WTF Shane

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Jump Drive Shane

Sometimes if you take it out too quickly, it stops working.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

That end product has just got to explode in my mouth -Sausage Shane
It had a really nice pop in the mouth -Quebec Shane

Friday, March 9, 2012

Central Asian politics Shane

“The states in Central Asia have very loose bottoms.”

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Shanetorum

"Santorum could tell a story of defying the odds and marvel at how far he'd come."

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2012/03/mitt_romney_narrowly_beats_rick_santorum_in_the_ohio_republican_primary_.html

It's a line that we have avoided crossing thus far. I'm crossing it. That's what Shane said.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Gaga Shane

"The fact that anyone could think it was acceptable for this to happen for two hours is unbelievable."

Friday, February 10, 2012

I'm full but I'm not satisfied - cabana Shane

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Shane-lock Holmes

"So he sat as I dropped off to sleep, and so he sat when a sudden ejaculation caused me to wake up, and I found the summer sun shining into the apartment." -- `The Man with the Twisted Lip'

It's actually alarming the number of times Sir Arthur Conan Doyle uses the word "ejaculated" when modern authors would use the word "said"...

Thursday, January 5, 2012

I'm not going to get this in my mouth, so I don't know where else you want it to go - drink Shane